⋅ Author : Mael Duin ⋅ 2022-06-02
Most of you reading this blog will have a problem with your Lover archetype.
That’s because of the four archetypes of the mature masculine it’s the Lover energy that’s the most primal to us. It’s the one that comes online first as we look to forge a connection with our mothers. A connection that is literally essential to our survival. So it’s this area that’s had more time to take more arrows as we’ve gone through our lives.
These wounds to our Lover, particularly those felt in the incredibly sensitive days of childhood and adolescence, fuck us up in many ways but nearly always when it comes to our relationships with other people. This is because when our Lover energy is unbalanced, it interferes with our ability to connect with the world in a healthy and mature way.
Ever had a gambling problem?
Feeling horrible with yourself after jacking off to another porno when you should have been doing something productive?
Are you struggling to control your drinking or drug use?
Answering yes to any of the above, points to you having an addiction problem and an unbalanced Lover archetype. The surest way to dying young or old and alone is to live a life with an out of control Lover archetype behind the wheel. It’s no wonder why so many of the world’s greatest artists die before their time.
“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.” – Jimi Hendrix
Jimi Hendrix is a perfect demonstration of the power of the Lover archetype. Legend has it that he had synaesthesia, a condition where the brain links different sensory perceptions together like sound and colours. He could literally see music so the world was a more connected place to him. Go and listen to Purple Haze, one of the greatest guitar songs of all time, and you’ll be listening to the power of the Lover archetype. I mean, the man used to fuck his guitar on stage. He was the maximum embodiment of the Lover archetype.
He also died aged just 27, accidentally overdosing on sleeping pills after another night of heavy partying. A member of the 27 club, most of who had substance abuse problems. A tale of how an over-functioning Lover archetype, whilst creating some of the best art is also a hazard to the artist.
“The Lover is the archetype of play and of “display,” of healthy embodiment, of being in the world of sensuous pleasure and in one’s own body without shame.” – Gillette and Moore, King Warrior Magician Lover
There are many forms of love. You may love your parents, your sports team, and your significant other. Passionate sex and selfless compassion all live under the umbrella of love. The ancient Greeks used the word eros to describe both the narrow sense as to fuck (which is where the word erotic comes from) and the wider sense of the bonding and unity between all things.
Going further back in history, 17,000 years ago in south France, a painting was done on the wall inside a cave at Lascaux that depicts men with hard-ons hunting bison. I find this equally amazing and amusing because I’ve always wondered “why?” – when I’d see graffiti of a big hairy dick, emblazoned in permanent marker over a bus shelter – but obviously adorning public spaces with phallic imagery has long been a tradition.
Say what you will about the primitiveness of these people and their propensity for painting big penises but what our ancient artist (and maybe even the bus stop adolescent at an unconscious level) is expressing is the essence of the good life for his times and his virility. The caveman celebrates hunting, fucking, and philosophy and we are able to glimpse that through the expanse of time, like starlight travelling across the universe to reach our eyes. The teenager scribbling crude cock cartoons is rebelling, breaking rules, and projecting his budding masculinity.
How much have we really changed since then? Sure, our cities, culture, and technology have changed. But haven’t you ever wondered if a more simplistic lifestyle would be better for you? Instead, we live in a complex world that is increasing in complexity. Have we traded a life of risk and fulfilment for a life of comfort and dependence? Instead of a spear in hand, we have a control pad, a mouse, a mobile phone. And yet our souls are inextricably connected to that potent rush the ancient hunter-artist immortalised on the canvas of the cave wall.
Moore and Gillette describe how, “Painters, musicians, poets, sculptors, and writers are often “mainlining” the Lover. The artist is well known to be sensitive and sensual… Artists’ personal lives are typically, perhaps stereotypically, stormy, messy, and labyrinthine-full of ups and downs, failed marriages, and often substance abuse.” (King Warrior Magician Lover, p. 129)
The Lover is sensual and passionate; he sees vividness and subtlety as well as being able to see the wood when others can only see the trees.
The Jimi Hendrix Experience was a fitting name for a band with a man who experienced everything aesthetically. Life was art to him. He even had a penchant for sneaking pictures of the groupies he fucked as they walked away from his hotel room. He’s also an example of where the dangerous fire of unbridled Lover energy, fiercely fuelled by drugs and sex, can lead a man.
If you want to see an example of a man who has harnessed the Lover in His Fullness, overcoming addictions to women and heroin look no further than Russell Brand. These days the comedian is a doting father, producing excellent videos on his YouTube channel which he describes as exploring “new ways to connect with ourselves and one another and how to elevate our consciousness.”
The Lover energy is the source of spirituality and sees the ultimate oneness of all that is. What cultures throughout the world have referred to as god.
If you want to embody more of the Lover in His Fullness in your own life you can try opening yourself up to be more sensual and savour experiences; this could be spending time in nature or with yourself doing something you love or paying attention to a partner or kids. Just be fully present and connected.
What separates the full energy of the Lover from the trappings of addiction, the hunt for the never ending orgasm, is that you can move in and out of the Lover energy by choice. And for that, you need a strong King and Warrior to set your boundaries so you don’t become paralysed (or killed) by sensuality.